sleeping in a red light district or(satan lives in my bathroom)

Growing up I always wanted a St. Bernard, I don't recall why but they just seemed so cool, and they were huge. I never got one, my parents always told me "when you grow up and get married then you can have one". Jokes on them by year number two of marriage I got one, his name was Bubba. We got him through St. Bernard rescue in Phoenix and he was a great dog, he went everywhere with us, he just wasn't to smart. Poor Mike had to teach him to drink out of a stream and that it was okay to eat snow, mostly he just slept, let Braxton sit on him and once even set himself on fire.

After we moved out to the FREAKING MIDDLE OF NOWHERE our animal collection grew, we brought two cats with us to outer darkness and after Bubba passed, brought home a Great Pyrenees puppy we named Delainey, a few more cats came and went, two more joining our permanent ranks, got another dog, a little one this time, and the child count grew by four also.

Well as the child count went up so did the "Please, please, please, can we keep/get its" and the "it/they followed me/us home". Poor Mike sometimes it is just not fair when the kids look on with sad wanting looks while I do all of the groveling.

What a strong man he is/was because he held out for seven years, but finally this year we became CHICKEN FARMERS!!!

Well the kids and I became chicken farmers, Mike just bank rolled us.

It took two days but I finally got them all home safe and sound, 40 chickens and six turkeys, they are so cute, the kids and I fell in love with them, the cats looked on with snackers glee, and poor big dog looked on, sighed and and I swear rolled her eyes.

Really I did not set out to procure that many fowl, but so many people including Mike told me that chickens die, so get a few more than you think necessary. I figured that as a family we would need two dozen, you know eggs for us and some extra to give away to friends.

Turns out I am a super chicken farmer. We still have 38 of the little feathered dingbats.

One it turns out was blind and had to be put down and just this past week we had one get crushed in the huddle heap. We also lost a turkey, I am pretty sure he was a failure to thrive.

As budding fowl farmers I discovered that our feathery little babies must be kept indoors under(bright red glowing) heat lamps for the first 3 to 4 weeks, so as you can see they spent their first three weeks living in Rubbermaid totes in our bathroom. Yeah that's when I discovered to Mikes everlasting glee that chickens and turkeys are dirty, and noisy, and most of all they stink. I spent at least an hour a day trading out their bedding, feeding them, watering them and as I am such a weird person hanging those cute little scented trees off of their heat lamps(peach was our favorite).

Mike on the other hand walked by shaking his head, muttering "I told you so" under his breath, making snide comments about finally being in the "red light district" and still not getting any, and building their "baby coop" and fenced yard for me.

Well, all is well that ends well, so they say, and the kids and I are still in love with our feathery friends, and they now have an amizing coop painted a lovely light yellow. We have six white black crested polish(they look a little like Phillis Diller in a top hat of feathers), 5 feathery legged Cochin's, 6 Rhode island reds, two silver wyandottes, 8 Buff Orpingtons(they are little loveys) and lots and lots of Easter Egg chickens that will lay green and blue eggs, Our five remaining turkeys have all been named after Mikes 5 brothers, and are a lot of fun to play with as they will follow us around the yard and are very friendly.

We have also discovered that we have at least 1 rooster and have suspicions on two more, and yes our little roosters name is Cogburn.

So eggs anyone?

P.S. anyone have an extra St. Bernard?