Wild Arizona(bite this Marty Stouffer)

Mike spends most of his working days at the helibase located on the south rim of the Grand Canyon. Mostly whiling away the hours between medivacs and short haul rescues and fighting wild land fires by reading, riding his bike, reloading bullets, and holding down the couch.


Some days though he really goes to work. This is the stuff he truly enjoys.
He gets to mix his love of flying with his love of the outdoors and wildlife.


Papillon contracts their helicopters and pilots(mainly Mike) out to the Arizona Game and Fish.
Recently they were over on the Arizona/Nevada border doing a sheep capture to monitor migration with the new road construction around the dam.


Usually they hang some under paid wildlife biologist(gunner) out of the helicopter with a loaded rifle(modified to shoot game nets instead of bullets). This poor guy sits and waits as Mike flies around the desert while another AZ game and fisher acts as the mugger. When they find the poor animal the gunner shoots,

and then the mugger jumps out of a still flying helicopter. After the helicopter lands the gunner then jumps out and runs to help. Normally they draw blood and put on a tracking collar,

and then the animal is released, at which time the unharmed sheep stands and shakes him/herself off and runs back to the herd with nothing more than a great story and a new expensive necklace to show off later that night while grazing with the fam.

But sometimes things don't go as planned,

and the sheep go a little wild,

especially if say, you had previously survived a mountain lion attack,

then all bets are off. At which point the sheep start showing off their moves.

The moonwalk seems to be a favorite,

and the two step with a little shimmy and a twist

always scores extra points with the judges.

and going all Shawn Johnson really works at putting a little fear into the guys that just pushed your fight or flight button really hard.

and if you really want to make those guys wish they had never left the office,

it is always a good idea if you can look'um in the eyes,

while going all kung fu fighting while issuing the dance off challenge


and then step back and watch the pumpkin boogie,

and the gunner/mugger doe-si-doe,

and after obviously winning the great wildlife dance off,

it is always best just to run off into the sunset,

while they dust themselves off.

Last week

Last week,

we ate doughnuts from J.D.'s espresso,

drove to Flagstaff, watched a movie,

and ate pizza in the car.

Carsten and Ardynns' baseball team played,

and won two games,

we made smores on the stove top,

while we listened to the wind blow.

The kids and I played a 12 inning softball game,

that ended only after the mom hit it out of the park,

and lost the ball in the 100 acre woods.

We bought a new softball,

a bright green one.

Mike stained and painted the porches,

and two chickens and one dog.

Kallison learned to ride a two-wheeler,

and how to put on many band-aids,

she also learned that older sisters make patient

and loving cheerleaders.

the brave ones slept on the trampoline,

with a pile of kitties,

the not so brave slept on the family room floor,

with a smaller pile of kittens.

Braxton purchased his first hunting licence,

and put in for his first deer hunt,

good luck my little hunter.

Mike took lots of fishies on a tour of the Grand Canyon,

and helped to reestablish a healthy population of endangered chub,

into the Greater Colorado River.

We cried over and buried our last goldfish,

well some of us.

We have sat out under the stars,

while listening to the coyotes howl,

we ate watermelon,

and spit the seeds at each other.

we ate boxes of popcicles,

that dripped down our chins and hands,

and then skipped baths and showers,

just because it was summer.

Canyon wide pandemic (The Mule Flu)

Poor wee Angus was just hanging out while the men worked on the trail. His rope got loose on one side and Angus went for a bite to eat. As luck would have it Angus slipped and fell over the edge and hung himself. Now Angus is mostly dead and on his way out.

When pigs fly Mom always said. But in a pinch a mule will work.

Angus checking the tail gate before he climbs in (safety first).

P.S. MIKE HIJACKED MY BLOG.

A little update

Wow, what a busy week, Thursday I saw my ob/gyn, lovely lady, she sadly confirmed that we had indeed lost another little one(we already new that, but we both cried anyway).

Ultrasounds are no fun when all you get to see is a still heart or this time an empty womb, but at least they were able to confirm that uterus and ovary wise it all looks okay, they were even able to see/find my right ovary that apparently was "lost" at the last ultrasound back in December(which for me was good news cause after all I think I would have noticed that one leaving).

Tuesday I met with a new Dr., a wonderful Dr. of internal medicine(she is also a new chicken farmer) she checked out everything including my nose/eyes/throat, because after all reproductive wise they are super important. She agrees with both myself and the very peppy ob/gyn that it is most likely related to my thyroid or should I say half a thyroid. So she took blood to check its(thyroid) level and also kidney and liver function, hormone levels, and complete blood counts.

Results will be back tomorrow and honestly I am a little nervous, I want it to be so simple, a tiny little pill will help regulate the thyroid and some progesterone cream used until 14 weeks will help maintain a healthy pregnancy. But then there is the guilt that if only I had given a little thought and had it checked every six months like I was supposed to that maybe my babies would not have died and that really does lie heavy on a person.

So tomorrow when the phone rings I will pick it up but only after it has rang a few times and I have had time to breathe.

Playing catch up.

Sorry to those of you that actually come by on purpose, and how lucky you new ones are.
I didn't mean to be gone so long,

But early summer in Northern Arizona is beautiful,
no daylight savings, so we get to enjoy a full day.
Light hot days to play in, and nippy nights to snuggle in.
The super strong winds of spring have died down to gentle breezes,
and evenings are spent barbecuing and playing baseball,
Spying on baby deer, skittish elk calves, and tiny jack rabbits in the backyard.

Rushed mornings due to later more exhausting bedtimes,
and extra laundry from those late night barefoot walks
that result in dirty foot print sheets.
Cookie baking has turned to ice cream making,
and unfortunately laundry folding has been turned to
porch swinging and Popsicles.

So again I am sorry to have left you all,
but maybe you should all just come on by.
We'll save you some ice cream but until then please read on.

Just for Kellie McCarrel

I am sorry, we live in the MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOWHERE.

If you have ever been to the Grand Canyon, once you get off of I-40 you take an extremely boring, long, two lane highway, known to the State of Arizona as highway 64, locally we call it the extremely long death trap,or just 64.



On either side of said highway are row upon row of mailboxes that all European tourists stop to take pictures of , and BUMPY dirt roads, proof that some people love privacy, I can walk out to the car naked, I mean if I wanted to, and have no care for their suspension(on there vehicles that is).

While having few neighbors is on the plus, along with abundant wildlife, fresh air, and for a few, the chance to hunt off your front porch(hi honey). The downsides include no high speed Internet, no plowed streets, being snowed in a lot of the winter, no, no wait that goes on the plus list, but mainly there is NO WATER, every drop of water that we use, must be trucked in.

So three to four times a week I load a couple of the kids and usually a dog and once in awhile a cat and we head to the water plant, for ten dollars I fill the tank with 425 gallons of water, drive it home and then with the help of gravity and six feet of three inch hose empty the water into a 1800 gallon cistern underground which is then pumped into the house. Yes we all bathe everyday(well most of us I mean really what do husbands have against showering on their days off?) do lots of laundry, and run the dishwasher everyday.

The only downside that I have found is during extremely cold weather everything freezes, from the tank lid to the valve on the tank, and then one must use some creativity, or a blow dryer.

So sweety does that answer your question?
and if you havn't seen the Grand Canyon come on down,
I can get a great deal on helicopter flights!

And lightning strikes again

Well its back to the seven of us,
we were cautiously excited for a week.
Turns out you second miscarriage does not hit as hard,
it hurts just as bad,
and you cry just as much,
but in a way it gives relief that now
there is proof of a problem.

So this week I begin testing, blood draws and ultrasounds.
Because it is amazing how much you wanted that baby
when you find out you don't
get to keep it
after all.

Our day at whup a kitty

Mikes parents came to visit us in late April, it was really nice to see them as we don't go to Colorado anymore. Mike had to work that Monday but took Tuesday and Wednesday off.

We let the kids stay home from school and indulged Mikes mom, and went to some Indian ruins.
I hate looking at ruins, its like going to the Parade of Homes a thousand years late.
And hot and dirty.

We went to Walnut Canyon which is a pretty good hike, and has some nice views of the mountains and really old broken homes, I figure they left it for a good reason,


like fallen walls, crappy ventilation, no indoor plumbing, and most likely the fear of your kids falling hundreds of feet every time they went out the front door. But hey that's just me.



It could have been the constant threat of enemy attack, lousy harvests and constant droughts. Or maybe they just didn't like the neighborhood.
We also went to Waputki, it was like a master planned Anasazi community, nicely spread out so you could see the enemy approach, and large spacious rooms to store your beans and gourds.
Again I think they left because of water issues(there is none) or maybe the lack of marriage prospects.
Unfortunately my children have not learned a second language and therefor entertained themselves and me by butchering the name of for said community and turning it into whup-a-kitty. Some people in the flyboat were not amused.

Grandpa thankfully was a super trooper and treated us to Chinese at our favorite restaurant and the next day helped Mike build a baby chicken house and fence.

Mikes mom however was not thrilled when I offered to take her to town and drive through the local trailer parks to look at the Mexican ruins.

Maybe next year.

sleeping in a red light district or(satan lives in my bathroom)

Growing up I always wanted a St. Bernard, I don't recall why but they just seemed so cool, and they were huge. I never got one, my parents always told me "when you grow up and get married then you can have one". Jokes on them by year number two of marriage I got one, his name was Bubba. We got him through St. Bernard rescue in Phoenix and he was a great dog, he went everywhere with us, he just wasn't to smart. Poor Mike had to teach him to drink out of a stream and that it was okay to eat snow, mostly he just slept, let Braxton sit on him and once even set himself on fire.

After we moved out to the FREAKING MIDDLE OF NOWHERE our animal collection grew, we brought two cats with us to outer darkness and after Bubba passed, brought home a Great Pyrenees puppy we named Delainey, a few more cats came and went, two more joining our permanent ranks, got another dog, a little one this time, and the child count grew by four also.

Well as the child count went up so did the "Please, please, please, can we keep/get its" and the "it/they followed me/us home". Poor Mike sometimes it is just not fair when the kids look on with sad wanting looks while I do all of the groveling.

What a strong man he is/was because he held out for seven years, but finally this year we became CHICKEN FARMERS!!!

Well the kids and I became chicken farmers, Mike just bank rolled us.

It took two days but I finally got them all home safe and sound, 40 chickens and six turkeys, they are so cute, the kids and I fell in love with them, the cats looked on with snackers glee, and poor big dog looked on, sighed and and I swear rolled her eyes.

Really I did not set out to procure that many fowl, but so many people including Mike told me that chickens die, so get a few more than you think necessary. I figured that as a family we would need two dozen, you know eggs for us and some extra to give away to friends.

Turns out I am a super chicken farmer. We still have 38 of the little feathered dingbats.

One it turns out was blind and had to be put down and just this past week we had one get crushed in the huddle heap. We also lost a turkey, I am pretty sure he was a failure to thrive.

As budding fowl farmers I discovered that our feathery little babies must be kept indoors under(bright red glowing) heat lamps for the first 3 to 4 weeks, so as you can see they spent their first three weeks living in Rubbermaid totes in our bathroom. Yeah that's when I discovered to Mikes everlasting glee that chickens and turkeys are dirty, and noisy, and most of all they stink. I spent at least an hour a day trading out their bedding, feeding them, watering them and as I am such a weird person hanging those cute little scented trees off of their heat lamps(peach was our favorite).

Mike on the other hand walked by shaking his head, muttering "I told you so" under his breath, making snide comments about finally being in the "red light district" and still not getting any, and building their "baby coop" and fenced yard for me.

Well, all is well that ends well, so they say, and the kids and I are still in love with our feathery friends, and they now have an amizing coop painted a lovely light yellow. We have six white black crested polish(they look a little like Phillis Diller in a top hat of feathers), 5 feathery legged Cochin's, 6 Rhode island reds, two silver wyandottes, 8 Buff Orpingtons(they are little loveys) and lots and lots of Easter Egg chickens that will lay green and blue eggs, Our five remaining turkeys have all been named after Mikes 5 brothers, and are a lot of fun to play with as they will follow us around the yard and are very friendly.

We have also discovered that we have at least 1 rooster and have suspicions on two more, and yes our little roosters name is Cogburn.

So eggs anyone?

P.S. anyone have an extra St. Bernard?

MY DAY (you may not like it.)

A silly, silly person asked me just what I do all day, so here goes today.

5:50 am, look at alarm clock for the third time, decide to just get up. Pick up almost clean pj's off of the floor and put them on.
6:00 am, head to bathroom, do morning stuff, water the chickens and turkeys living in there and think out loud to self "they are moving outside today."
6:05 am, turn hot water to cold and tell Mike good morning. Run really fast!
6:15 am, smile at children as I iron their school uniforms, try not to cringe to much as Ardynn practices piano, clean up Dawson's spilt milk.
6:30 am, remind kids to finish breakfast and pack the rest of their lunches, start thinking about what to do next week for lunches.
6:45 am, answer phone call from sister- in- law who is looking for the mother- in- law, tell sister- in -law to buck up and save the puppy, harbor doubts that she will but know I will never find out.
7:00 am, give Mike his lunch, kiss him goodbye. Worry about my pilot for the next eleven hours.
7:05 am, hurry and throw the toddler into the shower with me, hoping to use the right shampoo on the right head.
7:20 am, dressed, teeth are brushed and hair has been brushed, think about what to do with it, oh well it could be worse, notice eyebrows REALLY need to be waxed.
7:30 am, check bank balance, decide eyebrows will have to wait until next week, wonder if Mike really minds sleeping with a National Geographic centerfold anyway.
7:40 am, tell in-laws thanks for visiting, remind them that they are welcome any time, drive safe, and have fun with some more Brinkworths this weekend.
7:41 am, load kids in the truck, think about how many loads of water we need to get today, oh shit need gas too.
7:55 am, drop off three kids at school, remind Ardynn and Carsten to walk home from the bus stop, holler at Braxton to have fun at guitar lesson today. Wonder whose baseball team Carsten and Ardynn will be on?
8:00 am, throw in 20.00 of diesel, call Debbie as I need a dose of sanity, hm mm, her three year old is lowering the chichiwawa into the window well. Love sanity.
8:10 am, walk into hardware store and order two bags of wood pellets, pull around back to get them, "will I take the three open ones, so that they don't have to get down a new pallet?" Do I love chocolate? score one for me.
8:30 am, get the first of two loads of water needed for the weekend, see three Elk remind self that living out in the middle of nowhere is not all bad.
8:45 am, drop load of water, dump wood pellets into temporary(yeah right) chicken coop. Toss Kalli and Dawson back into truck, get the second load of water, think about breakfast. Finally catch up to speedy little poodle, wish I had a window well.
9:00 am, decide to throw baby birds out later, turn computer on, check emails, wow I don't even have that body part so why would I want to lengthen it? That snuggli thing looks better all the time though, but decide the people in the commercial all look like they belong to some whacked out religious cult.
9:15 am, check on face book, trying to think why I care. Tell Kallison no we are not having ice cream right now, we have food standards not very high but we have them. Check bank balance again still in the black, man I am good.
9:30 am, start this blog, wondering if I will make anyone mad enough to try to save the puppy.
think about what else I have to do today,
10:00 am, do dishes, mop the kitchen floor.
11:30 am, think about feeding Kallison and Dawson before heading into the school for first grade spelling bee(must admit I don't really care), decide bank balance will support a 5.00 lunch for three.
1:30 pm. Head home, pray for enough time for Dawsons nap, fold laundry that has been hiding in the dryer for two days(try to figure out how to pay for new dryer, new tires and new cleats for baseball).
3:30 pm, Go back into town pick up Braxton, finally remember the coke I put in freezer this morning(must clean up that mess later).
4:00 pm, help with homework, make pizza dough, start the shower runs.
5:54 pm, yell "Daddies home" watch kids do the Daddy dance, it is my favorite, breathe with relief my pilot is home safe.
6:00 pm, feed family dinner, be thankful that in this town we all get dinner.
6:45 pm, do dishes be thankful that family does not mind paper plates six days a week.
7:00 pm, remind kiddos to brush teeth and get uniforms for tomorrow.
7:25 pm, say family prayers, laugh at Carsten who always blesses the food at every prayer, wonder if he is hoping for a midnight snack?
7:30 pm, tuck four cute babies into bed, sneak in two cats. Clean up coke mess, hope husband does not see me licking the now empty can.
8:30 pm, carefully tuck last sleeping baby into my bed half wishing he would start sleeping in his own bed, half kinda hoping he never does.
8:45 pm, Tell baby chickens and turkeys that they are really moving out in the morning, wash face put on same almost clean pj's from this morning. Feed chickens and turkeys.
9:00 pm, start to watch Tuesday nights episode of Deadliest Catch, decide to watch it the next day while folding laundry and go to bed instead.
9:30 pm, let two cats out, tell Mike I have no idea who keeps letting them in.
10:00 pm, look at the alarm clock yet again, wonder to self if being a National Geographic centerfold is all that bad, I hope that puppy is still alive.