Thoughts

Where have we all gone to?

January and February have got to be the most boring months for us.
No Birthdays or parties, Christmas has come and gone, the newness worn off all the goodies and school and work is the same old same old.
Baseball and Soccer are still months away, the trampoline and swing set are buried under a foot of new snow this morning.
Unfortunately this time of year even my beads hold no interest and I just walk by and look at them and wonder if I will ever get back to them.
The teachers at school report the kids are all getting antsy and acting out(not mine as they are perfect) and teachers tempers are getting shorter.
Mike and the crew are spending most of their time fighting over who gets to drive the bobcat, and playing "Sniper Elite" on the x-box. And even the tourists move a little slower.
The wind though this morning has slowed and the snow let up so maybe just maybe we will venture out this afternoon to enjoy out fifth snow day this year.
Thank goodness the have invoked the "Act of God" clause and the kids will not have to attend school well into June.

So please excuse our absence or lack of excitement in our lives, but March will bring back the Birthday rush, spring break, free range with cute baby calves, and maybe just maybe some happier baby news too.


p.s. this Saturday Braxton will be competing in the Coconino County Spelling Bee and is getting a little nervous so please keep him in your thoughts.

why

Okay a few nice people, I am sure, have questioned me as to why there are not more pictures of my kids on my blog, well

1. funny its my blog, not theirs(my kids that is) so I can do anything I want.


2. I am not a paranoid person, but once a picture is posted it can be seen by anyone in the world with Internet access and that kind of scares me. The thought of my precious children's photos being looked at or even used by the wrong people makes me sick.

So that all folks; we take plenty of pictures of our critters and I will mail you some the old fashioned way if you would like or email or even over the phone( I have an adorable one of Dawson on my phone right now, but it looks like he has no clothes on) but I will not post tons of pictures of my little ones that may put them in harms way.

Cause after all, we just want whats best for our kids.

And the answer is...............

Several nights ago Mike came home and asked if I wanted a vacation.

Aah........... what, where, when, and most importantly HOW?

A vacation, my mind started spinning, HAI is coming up next month and its in sunny California this year, and while it would be helicopter stuff it would be free travel and room.

Nope.

A visit to family in Utah, Idaho or Colorado?

Nope again.

Scoping out a new job somewhere north of here.

Strike three.

Turns out its hunting.

Hunting, in New Mexico,(you know the other state that is included in my list of places that are really still a part of Old Mexico).

Hunting for Barbary Sheep high in the mountains.

Hmmm kind of sounds interesting.

Not.

Does that include a weekend in one of my favorite cities(Santa Fe)?

Well no, I'll need to get back to work that next Monday and besides if I get one we'll need to get it to the taxidermist quick.

Will we be taking the kids cause after all hotel rooms and eating out can get pricey.

Of course and don't worry we will be camping out.
Oh yeah and I invited Stu to come also.

Really and will I be doing all the cooking, cleaning up and entertaining of the kids?

Uh yeah.

So when is this hunt?

Early February to the middle of March.

So it's still going to be pretty cold and wet.

Well yeah.

So I would need to pack every ones snow clothes and boots and a lot of extra gloves and socks. And I would need to go shopping for me some new boots, a new coat and maybe some new bibs.

Sure, what ever you need to keep warm and dry, babe.

Wow really, so how much is this going to cost us?

Don't worry I am paying for it all with my per diam money. besides it would just be gas and grocery money.

So let me get this right hunting for up to two weeks in a State that I hate all but one city in. Camping in the wind/rain/snow with five kids and a man I have never met before with me doing all the cooking, cleaning and entertaining. But you will pay for it all.

Yep, cause I really love you and want to spend family time with you all.
And it will be a great experience for the boys.


HELL NO.... but I'll miss you.

Two Years Ago

Two years ago today was a Thursday,

Two years ago today Mike had left for work and the boys were at school,

Two years ago today I stood at the sink doing breakfast dishes while the girls watched cartoons and thought about calling Grandma Madden to wish her a Happy Birthday,

Two years ago today the phone rang and I answered it laughing,

Two years ago today I stopped laughing, as I learned that the next months of my life would be a living hell,

Two years ago today Mike was rear ended into oncoming traffic; a totaled car, a shattered leg, a family plunged into fear,





Two years ago today a friend kept the girls, I beat the ambulance to the hospital, I called my Grandmother but I know I never wished her a Happy Birthday,


Two years ago today I saw the x-rays and met a surgeon that in whose hands we would soon place our future,

Two years ago today another wonderful friend came into our home finished my dishes, folded our laundry, brought dinner and loved our children while I could not,

Two years ago today Mike underwent the first surgery to stabilize a shattered leg,





Two years ago today I wearily left the hospital and arrived home to a clean house, sleeping kids and a much needed hug,

Two years ago this week Brooke braved a wicked snow storm and "adopted" our children for the next week, so that they would be safe and loved,

Two years ago this week a kind Bishop shoveled our walks in his suit,

Two years ago this week we suffered from below freezing temperatures, many had frozen pipes we never did,

Two years ago this week many of those that Mike worked with called, visited, and brought dinner to us in the hospital,

Two years ago this week Mike underwent his second surgery to rebuild his leg with donor bone and marrow,

Two years ago this week a doctor came to me with these words "Mrs. Brinkworth your husband aspirated after surgery, while his heart never stopped he did stop breathing, we got him back."

Two years ago this week a haunted looking pregnant wife was led into the I.C.U. to see her husband,

Two years ago this week I spent the night sleeping on the tile floor of the I.C.U.,

Two years ago this week I was gently awoken and put to bed by a kind nurse who had arranged for my to sleep next to my husband in the glass box of the I.C.U.,

Two years ago this week I wrote a letter to a family that had enough love to donate their loved one to others, I wept for the first time,

Two years ago this week my children came home, oh how I had missed them,

Two years ago this month Mike was able to come home after 17 days in the hospital,





Two years ago this month a company covered a pay check because it was the "right thing to do." and then made sure we never went without,

Two years ago this month other pilots donated sick time and vacation time to keep that paycheck coming,

Two years ago this month a husband and wife stood together and became more than a couple, we became friends again,

Two years ago this month we were blessed.

Happy Anniversary or (How Freaking long is Eternity)

Ba ba da bumm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike and I have reached eleven(11) years of wedded stress.

You ask how we have done it?

lots and lots of ear plugs and chocolate I tell you.

Eleven years of love, laughter, fights, and babies,

what a ride.

We have been through 2 moves, 5 cars, 4 dogs, 6 goldfish, and 14 cats.

We have shared in the birth of five beautiful children and the grief of one lost.

His need to work in a dangerous environment,

and my need to worry over that.

We have shared in the same goals, of creating an eternal family, being debt free, and being a little more self sufficient.

We have survived illness, injury, sleepless nights, and financial woes,

pregnant cats, barking dogs, flower eating cows, and bugling elk.

Mike puts up with my great buys(we didn't need it but I got it cheap), and crazy hobbies, has helped trim and bag forty pounds of chicken breasts with only a little eye rolling, and camping in the rain, without saying I told you so.

I have suffered through hunting in the snow, the fear of his surgeries and the anxiety of doctor talks.

And living in Arizona.

I am thankful for Mikes dedication to family and work.

His willingness to sacrifice a perfect shot to let his children experience greatness.

He is thankful for my willingness to stay at home and do nothing, err.. I mean raise our children.

And cook mouth watering waist thickening meals.

But really while we have had good and bad I wouldn't trade it for anything,

well almost anything.....

And he still says he loves me.

Honey I'm home

The week before Christmas Mike left on another I'll be home tomorrow, love you Honey trips. That was Sunday, he came home Friday and this is what he saw. Three days of snow days and three feet of snow.
Thankfully he spent most of the week hanging out with Cooper(and the rest of the family).
I got raging winds, sub zero temperatures, 45 minutes of putting snow clothes on only to be told that "oops mom I forgot to put on socks".

Imagine this

A husband back to work after a wonderful holiday filled with peace, love, joy, eating, screaming, fighting(the 20lb. cat and the 10lb. poodle over a 4oz can of cat food) and did I mention eating?

Five wonderful children quietly playing with goodies from Santa(lets be honest all games came with headphones) and a peaceful mommy with a stack of new books.

Oh the thought of a long uninterrupted bubble bath in that huge wonderful bath tub.

Grab a book, the new Japanese Cherry Blossom bubble bath, a icy cold Dr.Pepper and of course the last piece of melt in your mouth fudge and I quietly sneak out of the room.

The sound of running water quickly alerts the ever vigilant toddler that momma is doing something that he is missing out on. A half full bath and chugging sounds send alarm bells ringing in mommas head that something is wrong, did pipes freeze, is the pump out, Oh H*ll

let it not be so, we are out of water.

So back into my super cool striped p.j.s add a hoody and my ultra chic black rubber pig farmer boots, and I was ready(did I forget to mention the truck froze in 4x4 low) grab my bright yellow hammer and slide under that Super Duty Power Stroke for a simple repair of banging on the transfer case to release the four wheel drive. Meanwhile I am such a hottie I have melted the snow and ice under me and have now encased myself in two feet of snow.

So I click my heels and chant theres no place like Hell, theres no place like Hell, and realize that I was softly beating on the transmission, oh well. A quick phone call later Mike says no damage don't worry he will fix all when he gets home.

So I'm off to see the neighbor the wonderful neighbor on Is-abella to beg water and show them my favorite webkinz game. oops.

Oh yeah Mikey is home the truck is fixed he hauls two loads of water fixes the toilet in the kid's bathroom(the cause of the fast drain) and I barbecued perfect chicken.

Today Mike took four kids to work with him and I, well I am off to the grocery store.

Oh how I long for that bath tub.

Seeing Santa

Dear Santa,
we have been very good kids this year. We have played nicely with each other not made a very big mess and have eaten all of our vegetables.

This year we are asking for electric scooters, the entire Star Wars movie collection, the rest of the "ology" books, a few new wii games, and lots and lots of snow,

the girls want learning laptops, new baby dolls and fairy books, and some new art supplies,

Dawson wants trucks, trucks and more trucks, a baby doll of his own and a nap in his own bed.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Our Manger is empty

For ten years I have been a mother.

And for eight of them we have decorated for Christmas.

And for eight of those eight years we have set out two nativity scenes;

One a full display of beautiful porcelain; Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus, wise men, shepherds and flocks, and a heavenly host.

The other a wooden manger about eight inches long, lined with "raffia straw" in which a small babe lays wrapped in a simple burlap blanket.

Every year we hold our breath as the pieces are unwrapped from their protective layers and little hands shake with excitement as they softly set the Holy Family in place, but then comes the best part the excited squeals of "Baby Jeje".

It does not seem to matter that "last years baby" has no memory of this tradition, they always have the same awed and excited look as all the rest.

Throughout the rest of the evening of decorating, baking and candy making, little feet slowly wander as if by magic over just to check on "our baby". Straw is fluffed, a blanket smoothed and more than one sticky spot is found on a soft forehead as loving kisses are softly placed upon.

And last night just as in years past "our baby" went missing. He was there when prayers were said, he was there when all were tucked in, he was there when I went to bed(yes I check on him also) but when I went wandering just to check on little slumbering babes he was gone.

Now I will be honest I don't look to hard because I know he is safe and by morning he is always lovingly replaced. Besides I know as in years past he is snuggled close to other soft warm bodies, protected by them, as he so lovingly protects those precious spirits.

So my friends and family it is with love that I tell you; May you all know the peace and love of the season and may your mangers be empty.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Just a quick letter to remind you that I have been a good girl this year. Okay, okay tried to be a good girl this year. I have kept my house mostly clean but with five little kids that is a great undertaking. I have attended church and payed my tithing regularly, alright most of the time. I have not chewed anyone out in the parking lot of Safeway or at the bus stop this year, I have also not made anyone cry just because I could. My bed has been made at least one day a week, and the dishes have been washed everyday. The laundry has been folded, not always put away, but always folded. The pets have been fed and petted, the children hugged, kissed, fed and lavished with attention. And my husband has been told just how much he is appreciated.

So Dear Santa in light of my efforts I have made a small list of things that I would like to receive this Christmas and in the upcoming year.

1. I want a new baby, yes I realize that I have received five already but I want another one. I also realize nothing will replace the one so recently lost, but please please please I want another one. Don't worry to much about the cost cause after five we pretty much have everything. And after all love is priceless.(I am pretty sure Saige and Nate would like one to.)

2. Just in case you really can't deliver on number one, then I would like my body back. You see I seem to have lost the one I used to have, and the one I found to replace it, is a little worn, bruised, battered, stretched and to be honest a little sore. While I would not trade the memories of the battles it has fought so far I would like a repair kit for it.

3. I would like to find a buyer for our house, yes I kinda understand the state of the economy, and realize that maybe the reason it has not sold is because we are needed here but really I don't want to be here any longer.

4. I am going to need a new friend, not to replace one, just maybe one that will not be 600 miles away. She needs to have at least a few kids and pets would be a plus. Like just going for a coke, making fun of husbands and understand Tuesday dump days, Wednesday water days and a lot of blond moments.

5. I would like the peace of mind that we as parents are doing the best that we can in raising our children, a little more patience, and a lot more time with them, as they are growing so fast.

6. I would like for them to know of our love for them always. For them to always sleep peacefully with the knowledge that they are safe and for them to know that we as parents will always strive to keep them safe.

So Santa I know that this is a really big list and I truly wish with all my heart for it all, but as a big girl I understand that I can't have it all and that's okay because you see I do understand the true meaning of Christmas.

I BELEIVE